Ok let me tell u all a story instead of a joke for a change. Once upon a time, in a few years back, my teacher (a male) and his cousin (a female) went to a pizza shop near the esplande.

Upon entering, the waiter brought my teacher and his cousin to a nearby table where they were given the menu. They decided what they wanted to eat and order them.

Within minutes, the dishes that they order were deliever to them and without any further ado, they tuck in into this delicious and wonderful meal.

However, things does not stay that peaceful always. In the mist of their meal, one fat fat fat *and gosh i must stress that she really is super super fat!* lady walked up to their table. Using her fist, she knock lightly on the table and whisper to my teacher "Hey, call me mum."

Gosh my teacher was shocked to the core. Seeing that he dont know the woman, he decided to ignore her. However, the woman decided to be more evil and this time, she knock louder and say in a very loud voice "CALL ME MUM!"

At this time, everybody in the pizza shop turn their heads around and stare at them. My teacher's cousin was embarrassed to the core, like all girls usually do, and she nudge my teacher to just please the woman and call her mum.

"Mum", my teacher say.

"CALL LOUDER!" the woman boom back

"MUM!"

"Nice boy"

And saying that, the woman left. My teacher and his cousin finish eating their meal, and went to pay the bills. However, the bill that was given to them was 10 times more expensive that what they had ordered. Thinking that they have make a mistake, my teacher called the manager and question him.

"Oh the lady just now say her son will pay her bills for her", the manager replied.

"But im not her son?!?!?!", my teacher rebutt.

"But the whole restaurant hear you call her mum", the manager say.

Furious that such a thing had occured, my teacher wanna argue back. However, his cousin was already red in the face in embarrassment as they had already make a scene having that speech. Opening her purse, she took out a stack of bills and pay the bill without another word and they left.

Lady luck must be on their side for at the traffic light near the esplanade, they saw the fat lady on the opposite side of the road and they started chasing. As you all know, the esplanade is shaped like a circle. In order to catch up with the lady, my teacher and his cousin decided to split up so as to corner her.

My teacher give chase, furious at the thought of being cheated. However, the gap between him and the fat lady is still too big and so, he decided to take a gamble. He took a leap and grab her leg and pulled. He pull her leg as hard as im pulling your leg now.





For those who dont understand, read this line:
He pull her leg as hard as im pulling your leg now.




- credit given to my teacher.

A taxi driver and a priest went to heaven. Upon reaching the gate of heaven, the taxi driver was presented with golden robes, golden staff, golden jewellery etc. In short, he was dress and respected like a king.

Then, it was the priest turn.However, instead of all the luxury items that he was expecting to receive, all he got was tattered clothes, a wooden walking stick etc, and by the end of the day, he look like a misery beggar.

Frustrated with such a thing occuring to him, the priest demanded to see God and ask him how come he was treated so unfairly. And god reply him "When you preach, people sleep. When the taxi driver drives, people pray".

Q: what do you call a prawn with no legs?
A: Lame sia (xia in chinese)

Chapter One

One day, noodle quarrel with meat bao(bun). They had a fight but bao was too clumsy and lost badly. He was very angry and he told noodle to stay behind if he has the guts and he'll get his pals to assist him.

Meat bao went to find bread, man tou, jian bao etc to get them to reinforce him. Along the way, they saw maggi mee. They ah bish ah bish ah bish and beat maggi mee up and maggi mee beri puzzled why he kena beaten up.

He said, "Why u all beat me? What have I done to deserve this?"

The meat bao said, "Noodle! Dun think u perm your hair then cannot recognise u!"

Chapter Two

Maggi mee, who was beaten up for no reason, was very angry. So he went to find bee hoon, udon, fried noodles etc to seek revenge.

But on the way, they met small bao. Maggi mee looked at small bao for a while then told his brothers, "Bra-der! Whack him!" Maggi mee whack small bao harder & harder. After the noodles family has left, they asked Maggi Mee why he hated small bao so much and beat him up so badly. Maggi mee said. "At first wanna teach him a small lesson only, but then see him act cute, made me so angry."

Chapter Three

The more small bao thought of it, the more buay song he was. So, he found the bao family to whack Maggi mee. Then they found ying shi juan (noodles covered with bun). They brought him back as hostage and were about to put him on the stove to force him to talk when the bao head said, "That's not noodles! That's our undercover!"

Chapter Four

The family of bao and noodles are now enemies and they have gang fights whenever they see each other. One day, the noodles family was having a walk when they saw char siew bao alone. Seeing the good chance, all of them attacked him. The noodles family shouted, "Beat him hard hard! Don't give chance just because he's vomiting blood!"

Chapter Five

Poor char siew bao, with his injuries, went to the bao headquarters to look for help. All the bao family was activated and together with red bean bao, green bean bun etc. they went to seek revenge. All the passerbys siam them as they look like they will kill. They saw french fries jalan jalan along, shopping. The bao family attacked him. The bao head shouted, "Noodle people still wear gold go shopping! Whack him!!!"

Chapter Six

Finally, the bao family manage to kidnap noodle, the one who started up the whole show, and brought him back to the bao headquarter. All the baos took turns to whack him. At the end, the chief of baos - dua bah bao took a final roll over noodle before they dump him. When the poor noodle finally went home, none of the family member could recognise him bcoz he is totally disfigured - flatten. In order not to let the family bear the bad name, he appears as a new member named Mee pok.

1.题目: 原来
小朋友写: 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语: 妈妈关切一下

2.题目: ..一边...........一边..
小朋友写: 他一边脱衣服 ,一边穿裤子.
老师评语: 他到底要脱还是要穿啊~

3.题目: 其中
小朋友写: 我的其中一只左脚受伤了。
老师评语: 你是蜈蚣？~
4.题目: 一... 就....
小朋友写: 一只娃娃就要一百块。
老师评语: 老师笑到不行..

5.題目: 你看
小朋友写: 你看什么看! 没看过啊

6. 照样造句
例题: 你 (唱歌) 我(跳舞)
小朋友写: 你(好吗 ) 我(很好)
老师评语: 你在写英文翻译吗??

7.照样造句
例题: 别人都夸我( )，其实我( )
小朋友写: 别人都夸我( 很帅 )，其实我( 是戴面具的)。
老师评语: 什么面具这么好用???

8.题目: 好... 又好..。
小朋友写: 妈妈的腿,好细又好粗...
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？

9.题目: 陆陆续续
小朋友写: 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语: 你到底有几个爸爸呀?

10.题目: 皮开肉绽
小朋友写: 停电的夜晚，到处很黑，我吓得皮开肉绽!
老师评语: 看到这句... 老师佩服你。

11.题目: 欣欣向荣-比喻生长美好的样子。
小朋友写: 我的弟弟长得欣欣向荣。
老师评语: 孩子，你弟弟是植物人吗...

还有一个更瞎的…

小朋友写: 欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师评语: 连续剧不要看太多~

12. 题目: 谢谢....因为......
小朋友写: 我要谢谢妈妈,因为她每天都帮我写作业......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!

13.题目: 难过
小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语: 老师更难过......

14. 题目: 天才 小朋友写: 我３天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净~

15.題目: 一…便…
小朋友写: 我一走出门，对面就是便利商店。

还有一個更瞎的...

小朋友写: 哥哥一吃完饭，就大便。
老师评语: 造句不要乱造...

16.題目: 又.....又.....
小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语:你妈妈......是怪物吗?

17果然
上课小朋友说：昨天我吃了水果，然后又喝了凉水 老师：这是词组，不能分开造句。

小朋友又说：老师，我还没说完呢，果然晚上我拉肚子了！
老师：…………

18 瓜分
小朋友：大傻瓜分不清是非
老师：小傻瓜也分不清

19 好吃
小朋友：好吃个屁
老师：………

20 况且
小朋友：一辆火车经过，况且况且况且况且．．．．．
老师：……………

One politician, One thief & One AJC student died & went straight to hell.

Politician said 'I miss my country. I want to call my country and see how everybody is doing there.' She called and talked for about 5 minutes,then she asked 'Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????The devil says 'Five million dollars'.The Politician wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Thief was so jealous, he starts screaming,'My turn! I wanna call my group members, I want to see how everybody is doing there too'He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked 'Well, devil, how much do I need to pay for the call????The devil says 'Ten million dollars'.With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

AJ student was even more jealous & started screaming,'I want to call my school friends and teacherss',He called friends and teachers in AJ and he talked for twenty hours about Application question for gp, demandand supply for economics, superposition for physics,statistics for maths, transition metals for chemistry,organisation and control of prokaryote and eukaryote genome for bio, written report for project work, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked'Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????The devil says 'Twenty dollars'. Politician was stunned & said 'Twenty dollars??? Only ??'

Devil says 'Calling from Hell to hell is a local call'

Q: Why is the sky blue?
A: Cause the sea is blue


Q: Why is the sea blue?
A: Cause the fish go blu blu blu

Q: why char siew bao will cry but man2 tou2 will not?
A: Because char siew bao has filling (feeling)



Q: Why char siew bao and dou sao bao cry at different time?
A: Cause they have different filling (feeling)

A wealthy man donated $5000 to a charity, whereas a poor man donate only a can of non-carbonated drink. However, the poor man is consider a more charitable person as compared to the rich man. Why is this so?

This is because the man donated whatever he has.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side of the road


Q: Why did the bubblegum cross the road?
A: Cause the chicken step on it.